Family Frames
by FictionWriter91
Summary: A baby, a tragedy, and a family that never gives up on each other. Friends are also there for one other when struggles arise among the group, especially with Tara and Bobby, who, unable to have children, have taken on the challenge of caring for foster children, hoping to adopt. The fourth story in my series!
1. Chapter 1

**So, I'm in the car on my three day drive back home from vacation, and inspiration struck. I actually got two story ideas, but I am starting with this one. Stay tuned for my new crossover of Sue Thomas FBEye and Bones (The Snipers in the FBI [title may change]), which I am hoping to post today or tomorrow in the Bones category as it seems to get more readers (I put it in the crossover category after it's finished). **

**This story is a continuation of my series involving Sue and her brothers, John, Billy, and Charlie, and I apologize for the tears I am most likely going to cause after this chapter.**

* * *

He stood there, waiting. He had been asked to leave because she was in distress, and the not knowing what was going on was killing him. He paced. He sat with his head in his hands. He tapped his feet anxiously. He hassled the nurses until they ordered him to sit and stay until someone came for him. Finally, after what felt like hours, the doctor appeared in front of him. He looked up, and he didn't even need to hear the words come out of his mouth in order to know what had happened. His heart dropped like a stone. The doctor opened his mouth.

"I'm so sorry. Your wife...we lost her."

**Nine Months Earlier **

Sue was sitting on the bathtub waiting. She thought about the first time this had happened and how scared she had felt. This time, she felt excited. Jake was almost three, and she wanted him to have a sibling. Levi nosed his way into the bathroom and sat beside her, resting his head on her knee.

"We're going to find out very soon," Sue told him. She rubbed his head softly. Levi was getting up there, and she knew she didn't have many years left with him, but she chose not to think about it in that moment. She had told her brother, John, that she would be coming in late to work that day. She hadn't been feeling well lately, and when she missed her period, she knew something was up. Her phone vibrated, and she looked at it.

**Thinking of you,** Jack had written. She smiled. She hadn't told him about her potential pregnancy yet. She wanted to make sure first.

**Now I'm thinking of you thinking of me, ** she wrote back.

**I like thinking of you thinking of me thinking of you, **was his reply. She laughed out loud.

**I can do this all day, **she replied.

**Okay, Captain America, **he joked back.

Sue looked at her pregnancy test then, and she saw what she was hoping to see. The plus sign.

...

Charlie was looking at his phone with one eye while keeping his other on his computer monitor. He was trying to work while reading Tess's updates about Grace being in school. She was in kindergarten now, and sometimes Charlie wondered just where the hell time went. Wasn't it just yesterday he was holding her as a newborn? Soon she'd be asking for the keys to his car. He couldn't deal with it.

"Hellooo," Billy's voice said, interrupting his thoughts.

"Huh?" Charlie asked, looking up.

"I said, do you want to get a coffee?" Billy repeated.

"Oh. Sure."

"John?"

John held up his coffee that he brought from home in his fancy, insulated ,mini thermos type coffee mug.

"I come prepared, boys," he answered.

"Show off," Billy said, throwing his pen at John's head. He ducked.

"Does Alexis know how bad your aim is?" John asked, his tone teasing.

"I have excellent aim when my target stands still," Billy retorted. He was on his feet and heading to the door with Charlie when Sue came in.

"Oh, hey," Billy said. "I thought you weren't coming in today?"

"I just took the morning off," she answered.

"Cool. Coffee?"

"Not today," she answered, going to her desk. Levi settled on the floor beside her chair, giving a big sigh.

"All right then, Charlie Boy, it's just you and me," Billy said. They left together. Billy was grateful his brother had forgiven him for the whole undercover stint he had pulled a few years ago and faking his death. They were tighter than ever now.

"So," John said, looking at Sue once the other two were gone. "Yes or no?"

"Yes or no what?" she asked. He made a face.

"Come on, sis. You barely eat, you look green around the gills, and you spend a lot of time in the bathroom, especially early in the morning. I'm not a doctor, but I think we both know what I'm asking you."

"Maybe I'm sick," Sue challenged, raising a brow.

"Uh huh, and I'm a Smurf," John responded. "So, am I going to be an uncle again or what?"

"I am not saying anything until I talk to Jack."

"That's a hard yes then," John grinned. He earned his second pen tossed at his head that day.

"Don't say anything," she ordered, pointing at him.

"I won't," he promised, holding his hands up.

"Knock, knock," Jack's voice said, making Levi nudge Sue's leg.

"Oh," Sue said, seeing him. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm on my way to work a case and thought I'd swing by and say hello," he said. "Also, Lucy will throttle me if I don't give you the book you wanted from her. It's been on my desk for two weeks."

"Thanks," Sue said, taking it from him.

"Sue has something to tell you," John piped up.

"John!" Sue exclaimed.

"Now I'm intrigued," Jack said. Sue got up and grabbed his hand to pull him into the hallway. She would get John back later. He had waggled his eyebrows at her as they passed.

"What's going on?" Jack asked when they were alone.

"This is not how I wanted to deliver the news," Sue lamented. "But my brother apparently can't help himself."

"Are you...?" Jack paused. He looked at her midsection then and back up to her face.

"Yes, I am," she nodded, breaking out into a smile.

"Oh, wow," Jack said, bursting into a huge grin. He pulled her tight to him in a hug, spinning her around and making her laugh. They were going to have another baby. He was beyond ecstatic.

...

"I have a secret," Billy said to Charlie as they were walking back with their coffees.

"What?" Charlie asked.

"Alexis will kill me if I say anything, but I have to tell someone."

"So tell me already!"

"Okay, okay," Billy said, holding his hand out. "We're having a baby!"

"What?! That's amazing!" Charlie exclaimed.

"I know!"

"Why the secret?"

"She is worried about miscarriages before three months, so she wants to wait until after to tell people."

"You mean, I have to keep my mouth shut for three months?!"

"Sorry, buddy."

"You're lucky I'm good at secrets," Charlie said, shaking his finger at Billy, who swallowed. He knew that about Charlie. John had let him in on how badly Charlie had suffered after his fake death and how close Charlie had come to becoming lost in a very dark place.

"Just don't tell John. He's terrible at keeping things to himself."

"Got it."

They walked on in silence, and they found Jack, Sue, and John in the office talking and laughing.

"What's up?" Billy asked.

"Sue's having another baby!" John blurted.

"You are worse than Dad," Sue said, swatting him. Their father wasn't the best at secrets either.

"Congratulations!" Charlie said, hugging her. Billy hugged her next.

"That's great, Sue," he smiled.

"You're the last one," John said to Billy. "You better pop one out soon before Mother thinks you're barren."

Charlie coughed and sat at his desk. Billy froze, holding his breath. John looked at Charlie curiously before looking at Billy again.

"We haven't even really talked about kids," Billy lied. John narrowed his eyes.

"Really," he said. "So Charlie's 'I have a secret' cough was nothing?"

"It was just a cough," Charlie argued.

"I know my siblings better than anybody," John said. "And something is up between you two."

"It's all in your head. You should put that energy into the case we're working," Billy said, sitting down.

"This isn't over," John warned, pointing at him.

"I have to go," Jack said, giving Sue a quick peck on the cheek. "We'll celebrate later."

"Okay," she agreed.

"Grace is going to be so excited for another cousin," Charlie commented when Jack was gone.

"How is she doing in school?" Sue asked.

"She's loving it so far." That was his last update anyway.

"That's good."

"Okay, people," John said, clapping his hands. "Enough chatter about the good stuff. We have some work to do."

And just like that, it was time to work.

**Present **

_We lost her. _

He couldn't think. He couldn't see. He couldn't hear. Hands were reaching for him. He was pretty sure he fell at some point. He couldn't breathe.

"How?" he asked for the hundredth time. He couldn't comprehend. The words "brain aneurysm" rang in his ears. They don't know what caused it to happen.

"The baby is okay," the doctor told him. "Do you want to see her?"

He didn't want to see anyone. He was in shock. He felt like he was in a dream. They had a daughter. She never got to see her. He couldn't comprehend. How was he supposed to live without her?

**Five Months Earlier **

"I knew it!" John exclaimed when Alexis walked into the living room showing off her baby bump. They had made it to four months, and she was ready to tell everyone. Charlie had been true to his word and hadn't even told Tess, who was outraged he had kept it a secret so long. Billy was grinning as everyone hugged Alexis and congratulating her. Sue laughed as they hugged awkwardly to avoid their baby bumps hitting. Sue was just beginning to show too.

"You guys are gonna give birth on the same day," John declared.

"That would be awesome," Charlie laughed. "I'd bet on that."

"Deal," John said. "Fifty bucks?"

"You're on."

"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl yet?" Jane asked both Sue and Alexis, ignoring her husband's betting with Charlie.

"We don't want to know," Alexis answered.

"We don't either," Sue nodded. "It's more fun that way."

"Ugh, see I had to know," Jane said. She had had Maddy with another man before she had met John.

"I'm gonna get more cousins?" Grace asked from where she and Jake were playing. Levi was supervising.

"That's right," Charlie nodded, answering her.

"I'm gonna be a big brother," Jake said proudly. He was taking that responsibility seriously. He was helping with the nursery.

"How are your friends doing?" Tess asked Sue, who looked at Jack. Bobby and Tara had been trying to have a baby for a while without succeeding. It had caused some tension in their relationship, and Bobby had almost relapsed into gambling again before having a break down with Jack and admitting his feelings of a failure for not giving Tara a child of their own. They were looking into adopting now.

"They're good," Jack answered. "They just finished taking the course through the agency and are waiting to hear about a child to adopt. They are also thinking of fostering."

"That's great of them," Jane said. "I don't know if I could do fostering."

Sue knew that Tara had been a foster child herself and adopted, so she knew that was a big reason she was doing it aside from not being able to have her own children. She and Lucy felt bad for having their own children, and Tara had to tell them to stop pretending they didn't have children in front of her because she could handle other people having kids even though she couldn't. Lucy's daughter, Mila, was just over two now and getting into everything.

"It will be a challenge for sure," Sue agreed. "But I know Tara and Bobby can handle anything."

"Picture time!" Tess called. "Let's get those mamas and their bellies on display!" Sue and Alexis laughed as they stood beside each other and posed.

**Present **

He looked down at his daughter through the glass and was ashamed to admit that he felt nothing for this little being that was lying there. He just couldn't. A dark piece of him almost blamed this baby for killing his wife, but how could she have when she was only a baby? As the doctor said, these things happen, and no one knows why. A brain aneurysm of all things. He wished it had been him who died. He would have gladly taken her place. This baby needed her mother, not her father. He couldn't do this by himself. He noticed his daughter was not crying, that she was merely looking at everyone around her until her eyes fixed on his.

"I don't know you," he said. Then he turned away.

**Twelve Hours Earlier **

"Oh no," Sue said. "Here's another one." She bent over with the pain, breathing it out like she remembered from last time. Jack was hustling around and throwing last minute items into their go bag.

"Jack?" Bobby called, coming in.

"Uncle Bobby!" Jake shouted, leaping into his arms.

"Hey, you," Bobby grinned, picking him up.

"Thanks for taking him," Jack said. "My mother's flight was cancelled. Sue's mom is on her way, but we have to go now."

"It's all good. Tara and I enjoy hanging out with this guy," Bobby said, tickling Jake and making him squeal.

"We gotta go," Sue said, interrupting and tugging on Jack's arm.

"I really wish you hadn't waited until contractions were two minutes apart," Jack said to her.

"I didn't want to wait in the hospital. I'd rather be here."

"And risk having our baby in the car," Jack tutted. "Thanks."

"Not if you hurry up," she replied.

"Okay, we're going," Jack said. Bobby grabbed Jake's back pack and took him to his truck. Jack locked the door and helped Sue into his SUV.

"Good luck!" Bobby called as Jack threw himself into the driver's seat. Jack waved as they tore off.

...

"Oh, who called it. Who called it?!" John exclaimed when he saw Sue come into the hospital with Jack.

"Called what?" Sue asked, huffing through her contraction.

"You and Billy having your babies at the same time," John said.

"All the credit goes to Alexis, but thank you," Billy said, coming into view then. He looked tired.

"How long have you been here?" Jack asked.

"Just got here. I was about to call you, but I see you're a little busy," Billy said, gesturing to Sue, who was checking herself in.

"Yea. We'll catch up with you after," Jack said.

"Sounds good," Billy nodded. "And good luck!"

"You too!"

"Charlie owes me fifty bucks," John mused when he was alone. Charlie and Tess said they would come after to see the baby. He couldn't wait to tell Charlie that Sue was having hers too.

**Present **

"Billy?"

He looked up, tears streaked down his face. His eyes felt raw and sore. He wanted to wake up from this horrible nightmare, but he knew it was real.

"What?" he asked.

"I just heard," John said, sitting down beside him. "I'm so, so sorry."

"A brain aneurysm?" Billy asked, choking again.

"I know," John said, putting his arm around his brother, who started to cry again. Charlie was on his way after John had called him once he heard the news. He hadn't told Sue yet. She was sleeping after having her baby girl. John was in disbelief. Billy had been so happy. He couldn't understand why this had to happen to him.

"I can't even look at her," Billy said, muffled by John's shoulder. "She looks too much like Alexis."

"I haven't seen her yet," John admitted.

"I can't do this, John."

"You can, and you will. We will be here the whole step of the way."

Billy hated himself then. Maybe if he hadn't faked his death and hurt his family, this wouldn't be happening to him. Was this his punishment?

"Mr. Thomas?" the doctor said, knocking. Billy looked up at him, wiping his face on his sleeve.

"Yes?"

Could things get any worse from here?

"I have some further unfortunate news."

Apparently they could. Billy braced himself, and John squeezed his shoulder hard.

"What is it?"

"Your daughter, we just did an assessment on her."

"And?"

"I'm very sorry, Mr. Thomas. She's deaf."

* * *

**As always, I appreciate hearing your thoughts :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to those who reviewed! I hope you're still interested in this series. Here is chapter two!**

* * *

_December_

_I think I might be pregnant._

_Gosh, that took a lot to write down. I mean, I always thought about children and maybe having them, but when it's a fact that there is a baby growing inside of me (according to that little plus sign, that is), I can't help but feel a mix of emotions. I'm also scared crapless._

_I haven't told Billy yet. Gosh, he is going to be so...excited? I'm not actually sure since we haven't really talked about having kids yet. I mean, it was a conversation once, and he was all "Yea, kids are cool," so I'm hoping he'll be happy. If not, he will have to learn to be happy, because I can't just take this baby back to the story and say, "Oh, no thanks! We're good."_

_Can you tell I'm nervous? I talk too much when I'm nervous._

_I don't really want to tell anyone about the baby until I'm sure I won't lose it. I watched my brother's wife have miscarriage after miscarriage, and I think just telling everyone all the time was exhausting. I'm sure Billy will understand. Although, I fear he will cave and tell at least one of his brothers. He is close with them. Hopefully he doesn't pick John. He's not the best with secrets._

_Anyway, time to go to the doctor and find out for sure if I'm going to be a mother. I feel a little funny having this secret to myself, but it's also kind of neat at the same time. When I find out that I'm definitely pregnant, I can't wait to tell Billy!_

**Present**

"Whoa," John said, grabbing Billy before he hit the floor. The news floored him too, but he could tell it was too much for Billy. Losing Alexis and finding out his baby was deaf in one day? Overload.

"What?" Billy asked the doctor, who was still standing there. "What did you say?"

"Your daughter is deaf."

"How did that happen?"

"Well, with genetics, for 75 percent of congenital deafness, a recessive autosomal genetic condition is..." the doctor started.

"Okay, I will stop you right there," Billy said. "I won't understand."

"Any deafness in the family?" the doctor asked, switching tactics.

"My sister is deaf, but she went deaf a few years after she was born."

"Hmm, okay. And your wife?"

"Not that I know of."

"Well, sometimes these things happen."

"I've heard that before from you today about the aneurysm," Billy said accusingly.

"I'm really sorry, Mr. Thomas."

"Can you give us a minute?" John asked him.

"Yes, absolutely."

Billy breathed in deep and choked it out once the doctor was gone.

"My daughter is deaf."

"Billy..."

"What the hell am I supposed to do?!"

"You take her home, and you raise her," John said, feeling worried suddenly. Billy gripped at his head before looking back at John.

"I can't do it."

"Billy, that is your daughter in there, and by God you're gonna take her home and raise her because you're her daddy, you got that?"

"I can't," he whispered.

John ground on his teeth, feeling anxious. He was already making plans to take his niece home if his brother abandoned her. He wouldn't abandon her, would he? John wasn't sure right in this moment.

"Billy?" Sue asked, coming in.

"Sue? What are you doing? You should be resting. You just had a baby," John scolded her.

"I'm so sorry, Billy. Jack told me," Sue said, ignoring John and going to hug her brother tightly. Billy buried his face into her shoulder.

**His daughter is deaf**, John signed to Sue behind Billy's back. Her eyes widened, but she gave a slight nod.

"I'm here for whatever you need okay?" she said to Billy when he pulled back.

"Okay," he nodded. He didn't tell her, which Sue wondered why but didn't let on she knew from John.

"Get back to bed," John ordered. "You need rest."

"Have you seen her?" Sue asked Billy.

"Once."

"Did you name her?"

"No."

"You should."

"Yea, Billy, what did you guys wanna call her?" John asked, trying to normalize at least something from this disastrous day.

"Ellie," Billy answered quietly.

"It's beautiful," Sue nodded.

"You want me to tell the doctor?" John asked him.

"Whatever."

"Billy, it's going to be okay."

"No, it's not, Sue, but I appreciate the attempt," Billy said. "Get out of here and rest, okay? Don't you die on me too."

"I won't," Sue promised. She left but not before John let her know he'd talk to her later.

...

_January_

_I just found out my sister in law is pregnant too! It's her second child. I wanted to tell her about our baby, but I kept it quiet. Only two more months to go and then it'll be safer to say the baby is going to go full term. My brother's wife told me that anything can happen at any time, but I choose to be optimistic._

_Billy was excited, as I had hoped. He is practically waiting on me hand and foot. I laugh every time I walk into a room because he jumps up and rushes over to me and wants to do everything so I don't have to lift a finger. It's sweet, but I also like doing things to keep my mind distracted. If I'm left alone with my thoughts for too long, it gets ugly._

_We agreed we didn't want to know the gender of our baby. I'd rather be surprised. I think Billy wants to know, but he's willingly going along with what I want for now. When I asked him about names, he said for a girl, Ellie. I'm in love with that name, and my heart and gut are both telling me we are having a girl. For a boy, he said James. I don't mind James, but I also don't want to be reminded of James Bond every time I say my son's name (I might be a little obsessed with those films...). Maybe we'll revisit the boy names._

_Time to swap out the laundry!_

**Present**

Jack stood looking at his daughter through the glass. He felt proud and guilty for feeling proud when Billy was enduring such pain. He tried to keep it an even mix of proud and sadness.

"They're so small, aren't they?" Charlie asked, coming up beside him. He had just come from talking to Billy, and he was feeling emotional.

"They are."

Charlie looked at Ellie and Jack and Sue's baby girl side by side.

"What did you name her?" he asked Jack, gesturing.

"Ginelle, but Ginny for short."

"Grace is very excited to have new cousins."

Jack just smiled. Charlie blew air through his lips quietly, knowing that Grace and Jake would have to be told about Ellie being deaf.

"How is he?" Jack asked after a moment.

"I don't know, man. He's not doing well at all, and I'm worried he's going to have a nervous breakdown."

"I can't believe she died."

"Me either. It really makes you wonder if your own life can just go boom like that too," Charlie tapered off, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. He thought of his wife, Tess, and how devastated he'd be if she died suddenly.

"Wow," John said, joining them and exhaling hard. "This is shit."

"Where is he?" Charlie asked, concerned.

"He's outside. To be honest, I'm afraid he's gonna bolt," John confessed.

"Bolt?" Jack asked, surprised.

"Yea. He keeps saying he can't raise a child on his own, much less one that is deaf."

"What?" Jack asked, shocked. He didn't know.

"Yea. This was hard enough, but Billy never got that great with sign language like Charlie and I did with Sue," John explained. "He's freaking out."

"He wouldn't abandon her," Charlie said, alarmed.

"He might," John nodded.

"What about Ellie? What would happen to her?" Jack asked, looking at the baby girl behind the glass. She blinked back at him. His own daughter was sound asleep. It was as if Ellie knew what was going on.

"I'll take her," John answered. "If he bails, I will take her home."

"He's gotta hold her," Charlie urged. "If he holds her, he will feel the connection. I know I felt out of the loop during Tess's pregnancy, but once I held Gracie, I felt like I'd known her forever."

"Let's just not push him," John suggested. He looked up to see Jane approaching them in a hurry.

"What's going on?" she asked. "I came as soon as you texted."

John put his arm around her and led her away to tell her the news. Jack still heard her cry out in anguish, though. Charlie gritted his teeth. They watched John and Jane talking, and Jack imagined he was telling her about them possibly having to take Ellie home. Jane was nodding firmly before hugging John tightly.

"Poor Ellie," Charlie murmured. Jack's throat tightened a little as he looked back at the baby girl. She was asleep finally. He wished to God things had not happened the way they had.

...

_January_

_Do you ever wonder what happens after you die? I have no idea why this is on my mind right now, but it is. I've always believed in Jesus, God, and Heaven, and I've always figured I'm going there, but sometimes...sometimes, I have this niggling thought that it's not real. It's ridiculous, I know. Of course it's real. But this is what happens in my head. My thoughts drive me crazy, and sometimes I have to crank my music up really loud to shut them up. I don't like having doubts, but I've been told everyone has them. I really don't want to have them anymore._

_I guess I'm thinking about death because I'm going to be a mom. What will happen to my baby if I'm not there? What would Billy do without me? Who would help her plan her wedding or have late night talks about her dream boyfriend? Who would show her how to French braid her hair? I'm being so stupid right now, and I'm going to stop thinking about it before it brings me down._

_Billy told Charlie of course. I can tell because every time I'm around Charlie, he looks at my stomach. He doesn't actually say anything, which proves to me he's good at keeping secrets. Actually, I know he is because we were in the same group together a few years ago, and he's never brought that up to anyone. We kind of made that deal to not to as well. Charlie doesn't want his family to really know how bad things got after Billy's "death."_

_My mom is calling. It's been so hard not telling her about the baby. I know she'd understand, though. It's times like these where I miss Dad. My memories of him are very minimal since he died when I was barely six, but what I do remember is he made me feel safe, and that's what I really want to feel right now. Of course Billy makes me feel safe, but it's a different safe I'm referring to. It's hard to explain. Anyway, I should answer the phone before my mother puts in a missing persons report._

**Present**

"Hey," Sue said when Jack came into their hospital room. The nurse was setting her up with feeding Ginny, and she couldn't wait to start bonding with her daughter.

"Hi," he said back.

"I still can't believe it," she said as soon as Ginny started feeding. Her warm little body made Sue feel sad that Alexis never got to feel this.

"Me either."

"Did you call Lucy and Bobby?"

"I did. They told D for me," Jack answered, nodding. "Jake is excited."

"That's good."

It was getting to be early morning now, and Sue was exhausted. She had tried napping, but it wasn't working. She was hoping they'd get to go home soon.

"How is your mother going to react to all this?" Jack asked her after a while. Sue sighed.

"She will take charge. I'm sure she will."

"I love you so much," Jack blurted out. He kept thinking that it could have been him in Billy's place, a single father and feeling terrified.

"I love you too," Sue replied, reaching for his hand and squeezing it.

**Billy**

He stood there looking at Ellie, who was sleeping still. He could see nothing but Alexis in her features, and it made everything hurt so much more. He had just come from saying goodbye to Alexis before they had taken her away, and it was all he could do to not climb onto the hospital bed with her and refuse to leave her. Her mother and brother were there speaking with the doctor, and Billy was avoiding them. He just wasn't ready yet.

"Honey?"

He turned, and Alexis's mom, Tracy, was standing there with her arms open. Starting to cry again, he moved into the hug. His brother in law, Glen, put his hand on his shoulder and held on firmly.

"We'll get through," Tracy promised through her own tears. "We'll get through."

Billy, however, wasn't too sure about that.

* * *

**As always, I appreciate hearing your thoughts :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to JeanneJam and Phyl7375 for always reviewing! Yes, I had to get a tissue for the ending of the last chapter. I'm trying to keep it a mix so it's not all sad and depressing. It will get better as the story goes on, though. I promise!  
**

**Songs that I listened to while writing this chapter: Meet Your Father, Dr. K, and Between the Days by Siddhartha Khosla and I Knew I Was Here to Love Ethan by Rachel Portman.**

**Happy reading :)**

* * *

"Am I gonna see Mom and Dad today?" Jake asked Bobby as Tara packed up his little backpack. Bobby ruffled his hair.

"You sure are, bud."

"And my new sister?"

"Yup."

The four year old could barely contain his excitement. Bobby laughed as he jumped around anxious to get going. Tara put on her coat and handed Bobby his. She then put Jake in his. She ached inside a little because she had always wanted to do this for her children, the simplicity of putting on a coat and boots, wiping their little faces off when it got sticky, or tucking them into bed for the night. Apparently, that was not in her future. Well, it was, but it just wasn't going to be a biological child of her own. Tara was not against adoption or fostering since she had been a foster child and adopted herself, but there was something about having your own baby, experiencing the pregnancy and closeness, that she had really wanted. She watched Bobby with Jake, and she felt bad for him as well. He'd taken it so hard and so personally when they found out they couldn't have children. She had almost lost him to gambling again.

"I feel bad for Mila," Jake said suddenly, referring to Myles and Lucy's daughter.

"Oh? How come?" Bobby asked.

"Because she doesn't have a brother or a sister. She's alone."

"Oh, I'm sure one day she could have one," Bobby said, his eyes twinkling. He'd have to tell Myles to get on with it so Mila wouldn't get jealous.

"Okay, here we go," Tara said in a singsong voice. Jake raced out the front door with Bobby on his heels. The boy was very fast. He hoisted Jake into the backseat and buckled him into his booster seat. Tara put his overnight bags in the hatch and got into the passenger side.

"All good?" Bobby asked Jake once he was belted in.

"All good," Jake nodded. They high fived, and Bobby closed his door. He got into the driver's seat and started the car. Tara kept checking her phone, something she had started doing the moment they were told they were ready to foster. Adoption took a bit longer, and Tara and Bobby had agreed that they'd foster to adopt if the opportunity came up.

"They'll call," Bobby assured her, knowing she was looking for a message.

"I know."

He reached over and squeezed her hand tightly. They were in this together.

...

_February _

_I never do well with this month. It is the worst month on the calendar, and I wish whoever in charge of the calendars would wipe it off. It is so dreary and cold. It's grey and dark, and it makes me feel like the sun is never going to shine again. The only thing helping me not sink into complete oblivion is the fact I'm having a baby. I talk to her all day (yes, I'm still convinced I'm having a girl). I keep thinking about the first time I heard her little heartbeat. I thought Billy was going to bawl. I certainly did. I have the ultrasound photo in my purse, and I pull it out to look at all the time. Billy wanted a copy too. I hope he didn't show is brothers. _

_It's funny. I had a random thought today of who would find my journals if I was gone. What would they think of me? The earlier ones from my teenage years get pretty dark. I'm sure whoever is reading this has guessed that I suffer from depression. It's been an ongoing battle since I was about 15, but a part of me thinks it started when Dad died. Of course, at six I didn't understand very much to know if I was depressed. As I got older, I heard snippets of how he died. It was an accident apparently. The driver of the car had a heart attack, and they plowed their car into my father as he was crossing the street. See, if it had been a drunk driver, I'd have been furious and wanted some kind of revenge, but it wasn't the driver's fault their heart gave out on them. They also died, so there's no person to call up on my father's death anniversary and yell at for killing him. _

_Oof, that's a heavy entry. I told you this month has been getting to me. Also, I stopped taking my anti-depressants while I'm pregnant, so I'm really noticing it. I was told it would be fine to take them, but I am not taking the risk of hurting my baby. Doctors claim they know everything, but I trust my gut. Billy doesn't know that I take those pills anyway. I'm trying to keep up my wit and my sunshine-y disposition that he fell in love with, but to be honest, it's getting a bit harder to do these days, and that scares me. _

**Present-Billy **

Tracy and Glen were in with Ellie, holding her and cooing at her. Billy stood watching.

"You can take her home today," the nurse said to him.

"Already?"

"Yes."

"There isn't tests you need to do or anything?"

"No. She's perfectly healthy."

"Except for her ears," Billy retorted. Then he felt bad. It wasn't Ellie's fault. The nurse just gave him a sympathetic look before going back to her duties.

"Billy," Sue said, making him turn to see her. She was with Jack, who was holding their baby carrier with Ginny in it.

"Hey," he replied.

"We're going home. Do you want to come with us?"

"No. I've got Tracy here now. Glen too. They're gonna stay until after the...after the funeral," Billy managed to finish. He still couldn't believe that he was burying his wife. It felt like yesterday that they got married.

"If you need us at all, please call us," Sue urged.

"I will."

She came over to hug him tightly, and he held in his tears.

"Mom is probably going to check in on you. She's landing today."

"Great."

"She loves you, Billy. She'll support you."

"I might let her take Ellie home with her," Billy said.

"Billy, no," Sue said firmly. "You can't do that to your daughter."

"Mom would do a better job."

"Stop that. You'll be fine."

"The books Alexis made me read used to go on about our voices and how it would soothe our baby when they're distressed. How am I going to soothe my child, Sue, when she can't hear me?" Billy asked.

"With your touch," Sue answered strongly. "It's just as good."

Jack didn't know what to say. He felt so bad for Billy, and yet he couldn't manage to get out any words of comfort. It was like his brain was locked.

"Go home," Billy said, changing the subject. "Get some rest."

"I'll be checking in on you," Sue promised.

"All right."

She hugged him again before reluctantly letting him go and leaving him standing there. Tracy came out then, and she took Billy's hand and pulled him into the room.

"This is your daughter," she said firmly. "You have to pick her up."

"I can't," Billy shook his head.

"Can't means impossible. Impossible is picking up a tree and throwing it into space. You can do this, Billy. I believe what you mean is that you won't."

"I just...it's not right," Billy said. "It should be Lexie picking her up and holding her for the first time, not me."

"Well, she would want you to because she can't," Tracy pointed out. "And she can't, Billy. That really is impossible."

"You're not helping."

"Billy, pick up your child," Tracy said again firmly. Glen was watching closely, arms crossed. He was devastated by his sister's death, but he was growing frustrated with Billy's refusal to touch his daughter.

"What if I break her?"

"Billy, you won't. Pick her up," Tracy repeated. Billy exhaled sharply. He looked down at Ellie, who was looking up at him, not making a sound. He finally reached down and pulled her into his arms. She was so little, and he felt so awkward.

"There, see? It's not so bad, right?" Tracy asked. She wiggled her finger in front of Ellie's face, who tried to grab a hold of it. Billy felt something, a very small twinge in his heart as he held his daughter.

_She's beautiful._

Alexis's voice echoed in his ears, and he could have sworn she was in the room with him. He turned to look, but she wasn't there.

"Let's get her home, shall we?" Tracy urged.

"Okay," he agreed. He was terrified, but at least he wasn't alone.

...

_February _

_Billy surprised me for Valentine's Day last week with a night out. He even got a friggin horse and buggy! For me! He is SUCH a romantic at heart. Honestly, I'm so lucky I found him. If I hadn't, I'd be that girl sitting in a cafe watching him with his wife and feeling super jealous and hating that I was alone. But I'm not. I got the dream guy. I'm making some other girl jealous instead. _

_Okay, so I was out with Sue today looking at baby stuff. I almost told her again that I was pregnant, but I didn't. I think she is really excited and hoping for a girl too. Her mother is coming to visit, and I know Sue and her brothers get frazzled by her, but I love her. She is so sweet and fun. If anyone was to raise my baby if all of us were gone (including my family), I'd want her to do it. She would be amazing. I mean, look at Billy and his siblings. They're all amazing. She did a good job raising them. _

_I think Glen might be on to me. He commented on my "glow" the other day when he was here for a quick visit. I waved it off as a new hair product I was trying, but the look he gave me suggests he's not buying it. Thankfully, he didn't push it._

_Oh, I have to prep for work tomorrow. I sometimes wish I had a different job. Being a lawyer is hard sometimes._

**Present-Sue & Jack **

Jack walked behind Sue as they went up the front steps to their home. It was just a little house on the edge of town, but it was theirs. He carried Ginny inside, and Levi went nuts upon seeing them. They had decided to leave him home while she gave birth because last time he had come when Jake was being born, he had gone nuts with worry trying to get into her room during delivery.

"Hi, you," Sue said, bending to pet and hug him. "Oh, I missed you."

"No damage?" Jack asked, knowing Levi could be impish when bored sometimes.

"None that I can see," Sue answered. Jack set Ginny's car seat on the table and looked at her, marveling at how tiny she was. He had forgotten that Jake had been that tiny too when they had brought him home. They grew so fast.

"Jake is gonna be here soon," Jack told her, seeing Bobby's text telling him they were on their way.

"Lucy and Myles are coming too," Sue said. "She hadn't been feeling well, so that's why she didn't come to the hospital. She said she felt better today."

"Think Mila is gonna bug for a sibling one she sees Ginny?" Jack asked, smirking a little. He'd tease Myles a bit just for fun about it.

"Oh probably," Sue chuckled. She picked up Ginny and went into the living room. Levi followed, and he rested his head on her knee once she got comfortable on the couch.

"Hey, hey!" Bobby's voice called from the front door.

"Come in," Jack called back.

"Daddy!" Jake shouted, his footsteps thumping towards him.

"Hey!" Jack exclaimed, grabbing him and lifting him up. "I missed you."

"I missed you too. Where is my sister?" Jake asked, craning his neck.

"Right down to business, huh? All right," Jack laughed. He took Jake into the living room as Bobby and Tara came in and joined them.

"Oh my gosh!" Tara gushed, sitting beside Sue and cooing at Ginny. Jack set Jake down, and he got up on the other side of Sue, looking at his sister with awe on his face.

"Good job, mate," Bobby said, clapping Jack on the back.

"I didn't do anything," Jack laughed. "She did all the work."

"Right," Bobby winked.

"We're here!" Lucy called.

"Jakey!" Mila shouted. Jake shot up from the couch and hurried to greet his friend.

"I have a sister!" he cried.

"Yes, you do," Lucy agreed, hugging and kissing his head fondly. Myles was hanging up their coats. "I want to see this beautiful baby."

"Come on," Jake urged, taking Lucy's hand and leading the way. Mila followed.

"Hello," Myles said, greeting Bobby and Jack. "Miserable weather out there."

It was indeed a dreary, rainy day. It was nearing the end of September after all. Mila was beside Jake and chattering about Ginny with him. Lucy was now holding Ginny after Tara had had her turn.

"Congrats again, Jack," Myles said.

"Thanks."

"So, how is Billy doing?" Bobby asked. Jack had filled them in the day before.

"He's struggling," Jack answered. Even Myles had a pained expression on his face. The thought of losing someone like that made all of them feel anxious.

"He's got support, though, right?" Bobby questioned.

"Yea. His in laws are there, and Sue's mother will be there tonight."

"Good. He shouldn't be alone."

"I agree," Jack nodded. He didn't want to think much about Billy on the day he brought Ginny home, which made him feel a little selfish and bad. He knew Sue would be in touch with him regularly, and Jack would be there for him too. They all would.

...

_February _

_Charlie slipped up today. He asked me how I was doing with the morning sickness. I asked him what he was talking about, and he went so beet red in the face I was half tempted to check his vitals._

_"Billy told you," I said accusingly. _

_"He couldn't help it. He's excited."_

_"And John?"_

_"He's suspicious, but he hasn't full out said he knows."_

_"Okay. No one else is to know, all right?"_

_"I know. You can trust me."_

_"I know I can."_

_He gave me some tips on morning sickness that Tess had learned, which was really useful for me because I was still experiencing it. Then he asked me how my depression was doing since he came to the conclusion that I would have stopped taking my meds. I promised him I was doing fine, and I am. Really. He made me promise to tell him if I was having a hard time, and I did. I sometimes feel bad for not telling Billy I have depression, but it's one less thing for him to worry about. And I really am fine. For now at least. _

**Present-Billy **

"Hi, Mom," Billy said, opening the door. Carla Thomas stood there in front of him with such a sad look on her face that Billy was half tempted to slam the door to make it go away.

"Come here," she said, pulling him into a hug. "Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. I'm here for you."

"Thanks, Mom."

Carla released him then and came inside. His father, Walter, came in behind her and hugged him too. Billy was surprised to see him. He hadn't realized he was coming.

"I just can't believe it," he kept saying.

"Hello," Tracy said, coming to greet them. She had Ellie in her arms.

"Ohhhh may I?" Carla asked, reaching. Tracy handed the baby over, and Billy watched his mother instantly connect with her. Walter put his hand on his son's shoulder and squeezed.

"It's hard now, but it will get easier."

"She'll be just fine. Look at Sue and how far she's come. Deafness doesn't mean anything," Carla insisted.

"Oh goodness no," Tracy agreed.

"I just don't understand why it happened," Billy said. "I mean, Sue is deaf, yes, but the doctor said something about genes."

"Oh, darling, didn't Alexis tell you?" Tracy asked, alarmed.

"Tell me what?" Billy asked, afraid suddenly. Tracy was shocked. How Alexis had not told Billy after being with him for over six years? Tracy had assumed he'd known. But it wasn't like they talked about her husband, Brian, that often anyway, so maybe that's why it never came up. Alexis especially never liked bringing him up. She looked at Billy now, who was so lost and confused, and she felt bad delivering another blow to him, but it was to explain what was happening.

"Oh, honey, Lexie's father. He...he was deaf."

* * *

**So I can't find the name of Sue's dad anywhere, so I have taken the liberty of giving him one in this story so as to avoid constantly saying Sue's father or Mr. Thomas etc. when I'm writing. I found Mom's name. It's Carla (thank you JeanneJam!). I found the brothers' names as well, and I got the middle brother right: Billy. The other two I'm going to leave as John and Charlie because I've been calling them that for so long now, and it would be weird to change them. I hope you all are still enjoying this series. I look forward to your thoughts!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I apologize for the absence. I am hoping to get back into this story again. Watching the show has renewed my drive to write with this characters again. I just hope my readers are still with me. **

**Just fyi, I updated my other two stories as well (Moments and Levi's Purpose). **

* * *

Sue awoke to the bright, flashing light coming from the baby monitor, and she squinted at it. Then she jumped when the lamp came on by Jack's side of the bed.

"It's okay," he said. "I got her."

He indeed had Ginny in his arms. Sue sat up, wiping the sleep out of her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I should have woken up sooner."

"It's all right. I wasn't really sleeping anyway," Jack admitted. Sue gave him a knowing look. Billy's situation was very much on everyone's minds.

"My Mom's there now," Sue said as she took Ginny from him and got ready to feed her. "She will help him."

"I know," Jack nodded. He still felt guilty for having things be okay and have worked out for him, for both of them.

Sue reached to hold his hand in hers, giving it a squeeze. Without reading his lips, she knew what he what he was feeling and thinking.

**Billy**

He just went out for a walk. That was all. Everything had been too much for him. All he could think about was why Lexie hadn't told him her father had been deaf. His sister was deaf...that should have prompted that piece of information to surface! He didn't understand. He also couldn't sleep, so he went out. He ended up standing on a bridge and looking down at the scene below him. It would be so easy to just end it all, to join Lexie. He felt the tears on his cheeks again. Was this how his family had felt after he had "died?" It must be. He felt even more awful. He thought he would have moved on from thinking about that, but he hadn't. He knew he had hurt his family, and even though they had come around (his mother last), he still worried they hated him for it.

He hovered at the edge of the bridge, thinking.

"Billy Walter Thomas!" a voice shouted, making him spin.

"Mom?" he said stupidly. She was standing there with her arms crossed. "Did you follow me?"

"Billy, what are you doing?" she demanded, stepping closer to him.

"Nothing..." he started.

"If you are even considering what I think you're considering, then I have a lot more work to do than I realized," she cut him off.

"I'm not..."

"You cannot, CANNOT, abandon your daughter!" she shouted at him. "I know you're scared, and I know you want an easy way out. I know you're hurting. I know _you_, Billy. I do. But you can't do this. You can't end it like this. It's not what you really want, not what Lexie would want, and it certainly is not what God wants. You know that."

"I know..."

"I am here for you," Carla interrupted, holding out her hand. "I am here to help you. I will get you going, and you will do the rest because you're my son, and you're strong, and you have it in you, even if you don't see it yet."

She finally stopped and looked at him fiercely. Billy had managed to keep it in all night around her. Showing her weakness was not something he liked to do, but in this moment, he just wanted his mom.

"Mom," he croaked, starting to cry again. She closed the gap and stepped into his outstretched arms. She hugged him tightly and rocked him back and forth, just like she used to when he was little.

"Let it out," she encouraged. "Let it all out, son."

And he did.

**Bobby & Tara**

It always felt empty in their home when Jake left. His laughter and chatter filled it in a way that they both craved. Bobby couldn't sleep as he went over the events of the past 24 hours. It all seemed surreal. He looked at Tara, who was sleeping peacefully. She never did have trouble sleeping, not very often.

He knew he wasn't a failure to her, but he still felt like it sometimes. He sighed in the dark. If he could just give her the thing she wanted the most...it would make him feel better.

The phone rang, and he jumped to answer it. He heard Tara stir behind him as he listened to the person on the other end.

"Yea," he said. "Yea, okay. I...we'll be ready. See you soon."

He hung up, and Tara was fully awake now.

"What's going on?" she asked. He turned to look at her.

"It was our social worker, Heather. She's bringing us a foster child. Actually, she's bringing us two foster children," he corrected. "Sisters. A domestic gone bad, and they're coming into emergency care."

"Oh," Tara said, wide awake now. "Oh, wow. Oh, this is happening."

"It is," Bobby agreed.

"Okay," she said, trying to stay calm. "Okay, okay, okay. We got this."

"We so got this," Bobby nodded.

"I will get the guest room ready," Tara said, jumping out of bed and rushing to do so. Bobby got up behind her. Even though they had been waiting for this, he still felt unprepared for what was about to walk through their front door.

**John & Jane**

"This is like, one of the worst nights of my life," Jane sighed. Her fingers were intertwined with John's as they lay on their backs staring at the ceiling.

"I know what you mean."

"You're not allowed to die on me," Jane said after a moment.

"Ditto."

"Then we die together, I guess," Jane said, turning her head to look at him. "Cos if you can't live without me, and I can't live without you..."

"Let's not think about that right now," John suggested, reaching to touch her cheek gently. "Okay?"

"Okay."

He saw his phone light up in the dark. He knew it would be Maddy texting him. She was in New York now, but she wrote him all the time. He missed having her in the house. She was 21 now, bordering on 22. He felt old.

"She can't sleep either," Jane noted when the light went off after a moment.

"No."

"Are you going to answer?"

"In the morning. I want to give the illusion that I'm actually sleeping right now," John answered. "Cos if I do answer, it'll just keep her up later."

"True."

Jane moved until she was holding John, her head on his chest. He rested his hand on her head, and he listened to her breathe for a while. He couldn't imagine losing her. He couldn't imagine being alone. He knew he needed to be there for his brother, and be there for him he would be.

**Jack & Sue**

Once Ginny was asleep again and Jack had put her back in her crib, he returned to bed and curled in behind Sue. Sometimes he marveled at how his life had turned out. He felt Levi climb up behind him and press into his back. He sighed. The dog was experiencing separation anxiety lately, and he felt bad. Levi was getting older. He dreaded the day something happened to him.

"It's okay, buddy," Jack said, reaching to pat Levi. The sound of a tail thumping on the mattress and a soft whine came back in return. He could feel Sue falling asleep again. He loved that part more than he realized he would, her slipping into dreamland. He kissed her shoulder gently and closed his eyes. Sleep did not come soon for him, but it did eventually come.

**Billy**

His mother went back to bed after they returned to Billy's home. He stood for a while in the kitchen until he made his way down to the baby's room. He stood next to the crib and looked down at Ellie, and he felt that small twinge again inside of him. He reached to touch her little cheek, and he felt her breath on his fingers. At least someone was sleeping that night.

This was his daughter. He ached for Lexie, but he knew she'd encourage him to try, to be Dad. He'd do it for her.

"I'm right here, Ellie," he whispered. "I know you know that without hearing me say it. I'm sorry I got scared. I'm sorry I doubted that I could do this. I know there are going to be times where you will want your mother, but I'll do my very best to give you everything you need. You've got Aunt Sue, Aunt Jane, and Aunt Tess to go to. You've got Grandma Carla and Grandma Tracy. You've got so many people who love you already, and they'll be there for you just like I will be. We're in this together, Ellie."

He felt a small smile all of a sudden, and he let it happen before he let the grief slam into him again. He looked at his little baby girl, and he inhaled slowly before opening his mouth again.

"I've got you."

**Bobby & Tara**

"This is Bobby," Heather introduced. "And Tara. They're going to be your foster parents for a while."

Two girls stood in the entrance. They both looked terrified. Bobby knew they had seen and heard too much, that they had been assaulted themselves by their own father. He swallowed that anger down before it erupted.

"Hi," Tara said.

The oldest, Cho, just stared. The youngest, Aiko, hid behind her sister.

"You'll be safe here," Heather said to the girls. They were of Asian decent, specifically Japanese. Cho was 16 while Aiko was 10. Their mother was currently in the hospital in critical condition while their father had been shot and killed by police after he shot and killed an officer himself. Bobby hated that these girls had to witness such a thing. He also hated the huge bruise on Cho's cheek. Aiko appeared to be unharmed.

"Let me show you where you'll be sleeping," Tara offered. The girls reluctantly followed her, leaving Bobby and Heather alone.

"What's the word on the father?" Bobby asked. "What triggered all of this?"

"We don't know," Heather answered, shaking her head. "Children's Services has been called to that house a few times recently. It was my understanding he struggled with alcohol. It could just be that things escalated farther than usual, and everything got out of control."

"Poor girls," Bobby said sadly.

"I agree," Heather nodded. "They'll stay here with you for now. I'll be in touch about their mother."

"Thank you."

Heather left without another word, and Bobby turned to look down the hall to the room where Tara and the girls had disappeared into. He tried to feel more ready than he did. He hoped he could help those girls feel safe.

He was an FBI agent after all. Safe was his middle name.

* * *

**I took a break from Lexie's journal entries, but they will return in the next chapter. Thanks for reading!**


End file.
